Tea for Two
by Sieby
Summary: Drosselmeyer is an unappreciated genius. Lillie is a cult novel junkie. When the two of the form an alliance, they are unstoppable. And of course, all of this is said and done over a tea party.
1. Chapter 1: Unappreciated Genius

**Tea for Two**

**Chapter 1: Unappreciated Genius**

Clunk, clunk, clunk.

The sound of the gears turning was melodious to his ears. From his humble abode inside the very clockwork of the story he was able to see his tragedy unfold. He smiled in a way that was most unpleasant. How he loved a good tragedy, filled with unrequited love, self-sacrifice, and death. How absolutely _tragic_, but at the same time _wonderful_. He chuckled softly to himself, for it seemed only he could truly appreciate a delicious tragedy.

"Ahh, Perfection," he said to himself as he leaned back in his rocking chair, watching the gear-shaped screen in front of him. Another piece of his grand scheme unfolding. His beautiful masterpiece. And he got to sit back and enjoy it all.

Clunk, clunk, clunk.

The sound of the gears echoed in this lonely dimension. Oh, how he missed that meddling Edel. His dear puppet who had taken an interest in human hearts. If only she were here to enjoy the scene unfolding before him. Maybe she would see the beauty in his great tragedy. If only, if only…

He sighed. After all, lately, people had become more interested in comedy, and had given no notice to the other side of the spectrum. Comedy? Bah! Where's the enjoyment in that? Did they not see how morbidly funny tragedies could truly be? A Princess fighting to save her Prince, sacrificing her very life, only to find that he never truly loved her. How _drole_.

Clunk, clunk, clunk.

Droselmeyer frowned slightly. He was a brilliant but misunderstood genius. People did not appreciate his works. He sighed. Were he not already dead, he would no doubt be a starving artist of a writer. In his life, his books had never been bestsellers. At best he had an underground cult following, but that was a close to famous as he got.

Alas, woe is me. The epitome of the unappreciated genius.

Clunk, clunk, clunk.

Suddenly, a thought struck him:_ If I am alone, who will appreciate my wonderfully tragic story?_

True, writing from beyond the grave was a feat in itself that he was sure that no one besides himself had managed (as was the power to alter reality with the written word), but it did not change the fact the he could not have a lovely chat with a publishing company to get his books into circulation. No, that was definitely not possible. Besides, even if he could get his books into the hands of the public, there was no guarantee that they wouldn't be destroyed upon sight by the Bookmen.

Yes, the Bookmen, the bane of his existence. Those black-cloaked fools saw his powers as evil and sought to destroy his life's work. They were the one's who cut off his hands with an axe in an attempt to end his career. Stupid fools who could not see the beauty within a tragedy. Not only did they drive him to his untimely death, those accursed Bookmen had done everything in their power to ensure that all of his previous books had been destroyed. This no doubt had a negative impact on their popularity, given that the books were either non-existent, or the endings had been torn out—destroying great literature, how could they? Surely they would pay… but that was a plot for another day.

Indeed. For now, his focus was on finding one to share genius with. One who could truly understand him. But who?

Yes, the gears were turning, both in his dimension and in his mind.


	2. Chapter 2: Cult Novel Junkie

**Tea for Two**

**Chapter 2: Cult Novel Junkie**

Black curtains covered the windows and tables, flickering candles, from which smoke rose into the gloomy air, were set upon every flat surface. The decoration in this room was far from drab—no, it was quite the opposite—it was highly detailed in it's own 'haunted mansion' or perhaps even 'funeral' sort of way. One almost expected to see a couple of coffins sitting inconspicuously in the corner. Whatever the case, the room had a distinctly dark atmosphere most fitting for the activities going on within.

In the corner of the room, next to a table laden with candles, sat a girl in an elegantly ornate chair, which was without a doubt in a gothic Victorian style.

The girl, in contrast to the room, wore her curly blond hair in pigtails with pink ribbons. Her dress was simple, in some pale colour indistinguishable in such dim lighting. A seemingly normal girl in every aspect. But one must wonder, how could such a normal girl deign to sit nonchalantly in such a dark and depressing room?

Simple answer: _this was not a normal girl_.

Oh sure, she _seemed_ normal enough, no doubt about that, but when you got to know her you realized that this was far from true. A truly dark and twisted personality rested beneath the bright exterior. The kind of personality that rejoiced in the tragedies and failures of others. Oh yes! These things could make her smile like a child who found out Christmas had come early! Her personal favourite: unrequited love.

_Not_ to say that she was an _evil_ girl—heavens no!—merely a soul who was a tad misguided.

What? Don't believe me? Try to deny it all you want, but the look on her face as she read tragedy after tragedy would be hardly what you would call angelic.

And, of course, that was the exact expression she wore right now. Wide-eyed, and a huge smile, her expression was nothing short of pure glee. And perhaps that in itself would not be so bad. No, perhaps not. However, that fact that she refused to engage in this particular hobby in any other room besides one that was truly fitting to her real tastes, meant that her face was draped in dark, flickering shadows. The harsh contrast made her face look almost mask-like, and the grin… the sight of her was enough to send shivers down anyone's spine.

Suddenly the girl snapped the book shut and looked up into the gloom, a far away look in her eyes, and expression of pure contentment. The girl daintily lifted a hand to wipe away a tear of joy from the corner of her eye.

"_Genius_!" she cried, clutching the book to her chest, "Pure _genius_!"

* * *

"OH AHIRU!!! YOU'RE JUST SO CUTE WHEN YOU FAIL!!!" she squealed affectionately while clutching her dear friend's head and neck in a vice-like grip.

"Ugh," choked Ahiru as Lillie squeezed harder.

"Aah~!!! The Great Love-Love Letter Plan was a failure!" she continued in her usual quick-paced speech. Meanwhile Ahiru had turned blue and was tearing up from lack of oxygen. "Ah look! There are heartbroken tears in her eyes!!! Poor Ahiru!!! You can cry on my shoulder any day!!!"

"Still," shrugged Pique, giving Ahiru a sly glance out of the corner of her eye, "who would have guessed that Mute-Sempai's number one fan would have switched to 'Team Fakia' so soon."

"Yeah!" agreed Lillie, letting go of Ahiru (allowing her oxygen). She took out a handkerchief and proceeded to dramatically fake-cry, "I was hoping to witness far more rejections before you switched teams! And then I could comfort you every time you failed!"

"There, there," Pique comforted, sighing, "At least Fakia's rejections are far more harsh, rude, and painfully worded, compared to Mute's almost oblivious indifference."

"Guh…" grimaced Ahiru. This was true. Ahiru recalled this partcular instance that they were referring to…

* * *

"_Oi" he called, catching her attention. _

"_What?" she asked. _

"_Yesterday Uzura brought this to me," he said shortly pulling out the love letter (written by her friends). _

"_ACK!" her faced flushed as she instantly realized what it was. She rushed to her own defence, "Tha- I didn't write it! Lillie and Pique wrote it for me! So, um… Sorry!"_

_Giving his usual holier-than-thou, disdainful frown, his only response was "Don't do such worthless things. Moron."_

* * *

"Yeah, but it's not the same!" she cried, "Mute-Sempai has a way of turning a girl down that is more painful than any other! Also, the fact that he has a girlfriend making him practically untouchable means that Ahiru falls even further when she fails!"

Pique nodded in wholehearted agreement. "Well, there's no way to change the love in a maiden's heart. We'll just have to support her in her one-sided relationship with Fakia-Sempai and comfort her when she fails."

"Uh-" Ahiru tried to cut in and correct her friend's mistake (after all, Fakia and her were just friends), but was interrupted by Lillie immediately recovering (even though she was faking in the first place) and once more administering a bone-crushing hug.

"What's that?! Even though you were horrendously rejected you still want to go back for more?! That's the spirit Ahiru~!!"

Once again Ahiru found herself unable to breathe. And of course it was at this moment that the man himself, Fakia, spotted them while walking across the school campus. He frowned as per usual.

It was at this moment that Lillie looked up and saw him. She then had a devilish gleam in her eye.

"GO AHIRU~!!! FIGHT FOR YOUR LOVE!!! LOVE BATTLE!!!" she yelled as she shoved her unwitting friend in the general direction of Fakia.

She and Pique then fled the scene as fast as humanly possible, while laughing in her knowing way. "OH HO HO HO Ho ho ho ho ho…"

* * *

"So," remarked Pique, "I wonder if she'll succeed this time."

"Ooooh!" exclaimed Lillie, squirming in anticipation, "I hope she fails miserably like the heroine in the book I just read. That would be wonderfully cute!!! Then she could cry on my shoulder, and I would comfort her…" the rant continued.

"Which book?" inquired Pique, her interest piqued, interrupting her friend since she had heard the same rant what seemed like thousands of times before.

"The Prince and the Raven," she answered slyly.

Pique sighed. "Oh Lillie, you are such a cult novel junkie."

* * *

An echoing laugh could be heard throughout the timeless dimension, amid the sounds of turning gears.

"Of _course_," he chuckled to himself, "Why didn't I think of that before!?"

* * *

**AN**: For those of you who didn't catch the reference, this story takes place directly after episode 19, in which Ahiru's friends write a love-letter from her to Fakia.

You should also note that this story is not crack-tastic like my previous Princess Tutu one (the concept for which I came up with at two in the morning). I am trying to keep the characters in character as much as possible. So constructive criticism is greatly appreciated!

R&R Please!


	3. Chapter 3: A Part for Minor Characters

**AN**: at this point I think I should point out that from this point on it will be **spoiler** city for anyone who has not watched the whole series. I don't want to ruin such a wonderful plot for anyone, which is why I put out this **warning**.

BTW, the second scene of this chapter is taken directly from the anime (ep 20), so just saying "I don't own the dialogue for that part".

Once again, please R&R.

* * *

**Chapter 3: A Part Fit for Minor Characters**

Clunk, clunk, clunk.

_Side characters_, Drosselmeyer thought while rocking back in his chair, _add nothing more than that little extra spark, necessary to truly bring a story to life_.

Generally undeveloped and relatively two-dimensional. However, it is this 'left unsaid' quality that makes them truly interesting. They come and go as they please, flitting in and out of the story.

Sometimes they spur the lead into action. Other times they throw caution into the wind. Some are only there for minor comic relief.

Clunk, clunk, clunk.

Even so, that does not make them unimportant. Heavens no!

The part they play is minor, but it is a small part of the big picture.

* * *

"Geez, Ahiru…" sighed Pique, "Can't you stop having to stay and clean after class?"

Lillie giggled, "Of course she can't!"

"Sorry." Ahiru grumbled, looking at her feet. Once again, Ahiru had angered Neko-Sensei almost to the point of marriage, and wound up with a detention. That poor, poor girl.

The three friends were on their way to get ice cream. No doubt it was another 'Encourage-Ahiru-to-Confess' scheme Pique and Lillie were cooking up.

"Really, you're—gah!" Pique stopped halfway through her sentence as she caught sight of something most unbelievable. Lillie followed her gaze and gasped. Both wore an expression of utter disbelief.

"No way!" Lillie choked out.

"Huh?" asked Ahiru, noticing her two amigos had stopped walking, "What?"

She followed their awestruck gaze, only to have Lillie rapidly recover and jump in front of her view. "Ahiru!" she cried, "Don't look over there!"

She accented the last word by sharply twisting Ahiru's neck away from whatever it is she deemed unfit for her dear friend's eyes. This action was accompanied by a sickening crunch rendering Ahiru temporarily motionless. With that her two friends carried her off to hide behind the nearest conveniently placed potted plant.

The two girls peered out from behind the foliage.

"Shock!" gasped Pique, a look of concern crossing her features.

"That must be…" Lillie wondered, her eyes wide, but her mind calculating.

"What is going on…?" mumbled Ahiru, as she recovered, rubbing her neck. She turned to look, only to have Lillie once again cling to her, this time covering her eyes with her hands.

"There's something that you shouldn't see…" she explained, using a voice of mock panic, as she turned Ahiru in the direction of this most shocking scene, "right over there!" She instantly switched to a cheerful tone as she removed her hands from her friend's eyes.

Ahiru blinked a few times before recognizing what it was she was supposed to 'not' be looking at.

Fakia. Shopping. With an older woman.

…And smiling.

_Smiling_.

Lillie grinned. No doubt this horrific sight would shake her dear, already heartbroken Ahiru to the very core. She would love to sit back, and watch this little bit of misfortune unfold; but, of course, she had to act the part of a loving and compassionate friend. She whipped out her handkerchief—whose only purpose was to enhance the drama as well as cover the fact that she was secretly enjoying every bit of this—and started to cry into it.

"All of your charms are going to waste now!" Pique panicked.

"Now you'll have to be all sulky about it!" she wailed.

"Who could that woman be to make Fakia show his feelings like that?" Pique demanded while whispering, sounding a tad pissed off. She _was_, after all, a member of 'Team Fakia'.

"Eh?" gasped Ahiru, slightly behind in the conversation.

"The appearance of an older girlfriend!" she announced dramatically. Now Ahiru had competition! What a wonderful dramatic twist that would do well in any romantic tragedy!

They picked up Ahiru by the arms.

"We're still not sure that she's his girlfriend." Pique admitted, mostly to console herself.

"You're right," agreed Lillie, "You should still be hopeful!" _So that you will heart will be broken even more when he chooses her over you_, she added to herself.

They lifted a very confused Ahiru over the potted plants.

"You need to find out!" encouraged Pique.

"Be brave!" added Lillie.

Clearly these two were on the same wave-length—no doubt due to their large amounts of practice, what with pulling stunts like these everyday—because at the exact same time they both shoved her forward into the street. Ahiru fell on her face. She recovered quickly, most likely due to the fact that she was extremely used to her friend's crazy hi-jinks (even if they still managed to catch her off-guard every time, her recovery time had indeed improved greatly over the course of their friendship). Ahiru scrambled to her feet and immediately tried to return to their hiding spot, only to find her friends shoving her back out into the open.

These rather loud antics, of course, caught the attention of the two they were supposed to be spying on. _Oh yes!_ Lillie thought, _Ahiru's in a pinch! _

"Oi," Fakia called to her.

"Ah, Fakia! Umm…" Ahiru's expression was a mixture of embarrassment and shock.

"Are you a friend of Fakia's?" the older, rather curvy woman asked, clinging to Fakia's arm.

"Eeh!?" she squeaked.

"She's calling her a friend already!" whispered Pique from her hiding spot behind the potted plant, one hand clenched in a fist, "Just as expected, an adult's composure."

Lillie was unable to hide her expression of pure glee. "Aah~!" she exclaimed, "Ahiru's crying face is floating up into my mind!" She clutched her smiling face. As expected, real love dramas were much more exciting than those written on paper. "I can't stay here like this!"

Meanwhile, out in the spotlight, Ahiru was panicking, not being the sort of person who does well under pressure. She gave a nervous laugh, "We were all on our way to have ice cream together." She turned to where her friends were hiding. "Right?" she added, only to find that they were no longer hiding there.

Pique and Lillie scurried away at high speed leaving Ahiru to fend for herself.

* * *

Clunk, clunk, clunk.

Drosselmeyer chuckled to himself as he watched the scene unfold. Exactly as planned.

"Ah!" he exclaimed, "Minor characters! What _useful pawns_ they could be!"

That Lillie was an interesting pawn to say the least. She seemed thoroughly content in her role of minor character. Such a versatile girl. Capable of both encouraging and discouraging the beloved female lead, while also providing the necessary comic relief. What's more is that she seemed to do it willingly, and without much prompting from the writer, or, that is to say, Drosselmeyer.

Yes. A perfect minor character.

Much better than his somewhat uncooperative leads.

Clunk, clunk, clunk.

Of course, that was _not_ to say she required no prompting whatsoever. Of course not! How would the story progress as he envisioned if he did not exert some control? It simply would _not_! It needed him to conduct the events. After all, how do you think the minor characters seemed to always know helpful hints? Simple! It was because he planted them in the minor characters' minds.

The restaurant in the woods? The ghost knight rumor? Do you really think they could come up with those ideas all by themselves? Nonsense!

Clunk, clunk, clunk.

…Still, he had to hand it to the girl. Lillie had proven far more useful than he had first imagined. Even today, causing Ahiru to run into Rachael. It was an event that would lead to a devastating twist for our young heroine. Yes, it would lead to the unveiling of Fakia's heritage and tragic past. Most excellent. Most excellent. Perhaps a bit earlier than he had originally planned, yes, but an excellent twist none-the-less. Bombarding our heroine with more problems she can handle, with her dear Prince slowly succumbing to the raven's blood inside him, and our young knight caught up with memories of the past, she will undoubtedly be torn between helping the two.

He chuckled. Splendid, absolutely splendid. And she did so without even knowing!

He was suddenly struck with a thought.

_Think of what she could do if she only knew_.

Clunk, clunk, clunk.

…_if she only knew…_

The gears continued turning.

* * *

Lillie and Pique sat in the ice cream parlour together, having effectively ditched Ahiru.

"Ah~!" exclaimed Lillie looking enthralled, "The original plan was to convince her to confess again, but this turned out much, _much_ better!"

Pique spooned ice cream into looking thoughtful. "Who would have thought that Fakia was into older women?"

"I know!" gushed Lillie, "Big shock! Anyway~, we should probably make preparations for Ahiru's Big Heartbreak Party! After all, Fakia is such a lady-killer!"

Pique sighed, "You really enjoy other's misfortune don't you?" It was more of a statement than a question. She already knew the answer, having been friends with Lillie for a long time. If anyone knew Lillie it was her.

"Of course!" she replied happily, "But _Ahiru's_ misfortune is the best!"

Pique smiled knowingly. That was just the way Lillie was. You could almost say it was her charm point.

* * *

Lillie walked down an empty side-street on her way back to the dorms. Her arms were laden with bags of various party items such as streamers and fake moustaches. Dusk was approaching. Her favourite time of day. Why? Because it could be both creepy and romantic.

She was waling along, when all of a sudden she noticed a piece of paper in the middle of the road. Curious, she bent over to pick it up, which proved rather challenging due to all of the things she was carrying. When she managed to get upright, she realized that it was a letter.

_A letter addressed to her_.

The envelope seemed normal enough and would have looked common and every-day if not for the beautiful script that addressed it to her. Flowing cursive letters in emerald ink.

With moderate difficulty, she opened it and began to read.

"_Come to the graveyard tonight if you wish to learn of a true tragedy_."


End file.
